I first heard The Wonder Years when I reviewed their full length, Get Stoked On It last year, and despite my being somewhat gracious with how I handled what was clearly mediocre music (at best) the only thing I got stoked on was when I finished the review and passed the CD on to a more interested, and much younger, individual. So, when this split 7″ arrived in the mail, I still wasn’t stoked, but I thought these boys deserved another chance. So I gave it. And they blew it.
This whole fashion-centric, bastardized version of pop punk needs to die a quick, painful death already. I have endured years of being ear raped by all of these heirs to the New Found Glory throne; and if sacrificial lambs must be offered up to please the fickle music gods in order to break this vicious cycle, then I will strap The Wonder Years to a stone altar myself.
When it comes down to it, The Wonder Years are just an updated version of a boy band; only one that walks along some weird chasm of pseudo ‘punk’ edginess-in very miniscule doses- and has just enough ironic facial hair to incite the bad boy fantasies of fifteen year old girls. This music is sub-par and the lyrics sophomoric and too saccharine for my liking. I would suggest that these guys throw out all of their Drive Thru Records pop influences and maybe look back to the real wisdom of Screeching Weasel, Fifteen and Lifetime for musical enlightenment.
And All or Nothing, well, their half of this oversized coaster is slightly less retarded. Musically, they have a little more oomph to their sound, but fall short with their insistence on utilizing the stereotypical nasally pop punk voice. Now, I’m not saying that All or Nothing’s music is really worthwhile, I’m merely stating that compared to The Wonder Years, listening to their songs is like stepping on a dog turd rather than waltzing through cow shit. Either way, you have to scrape it off your shoe at the end of the day…and that’s exactly what I’m going to do now.
